So Hillary Clinton thinks the House of Representatives is being “run like a plantation.” And, she added, “you know what I’m talkin’ about.”

First of all: Think about what a weird coincidence it is that Hillary would have made these remarks in a black church in Harlem on Martin Luther King Day. What are the odds? Did she even know it was a holiday? Bravely spoken, Senator. I haven’t been this amazed at someone’s courage since seeing Hollywood applaud a movie about gay cowboys.

As Hillary explained, the House “has been run in a way so that nobody with a contrary view has had a chance to present legislation, to make an argument, to be heard.”

Yes, that’s what was really missing on plantations during the slavery era: the opportunity to present a contrary view. Gosh, if only the slaves had been allowed to call for cloture votes — what a difference it would have made!

Madam Hillary also said the Bush administration “will go down in history as one of the worst that has ever governed our country.” While Hillary is certainly qualified to comment on the all-time worst presidential administrations, having been part of one of them, I think she might want to avoid the phrase “go down in history.”

All I can say is: It’s a good thing we had a stealth candidate like Harriet Miers to tiptoe past these powerful, scary Democrats! Sorry if that sounds churlish, but after Judge Samuel Alito’s magnificent performance last week, I think Republicans can stop being afraid of their shadows when it comes to our judicial nominees.

Ever since Bork, Republicans have been terrified of nominating candidates with something in their background that might possibly suggest the nominee does not get down on his knees (another phrase Hillary should avoid, by the way) and thank God for Roe v. Wade every night. That’s how we ended up with mediocrities like David Hackett Souter and Anthony “Third Choice” Kennedy on the Supreme Court.

Besides being stunningly qualified, the characteristics of our current Supreme Court nominee include these:

— His mother immediately told the press, “Of course he’s against abortion.”

— He expressed support for the Reagan administration’s positions on abortion in a 1985 memo.

— He refused to accede to the Democrats’ endless browbeating that he tell them that Roe was “settled law.”

And the Democrats couldn’t lay a finger on him. Sam Alito marks the final purging of the Bork experience.

All the Democrats could do was scream about his inactive membership — back in the ’70s — in CAP, Concerned Alumni of Princeton, which had a magazine called Prospect, which once ran a satirical article complaining about Princeton admitting co-eds. In my mind, the only potentially disqualifying aspect of Alito’s record was that he wasn’t a more active member of CAP, a group opposed to quotas, set-asides and the lowering of academic standards at Princeton.

Then this week, we found out Sen. Teddy Kennedy still belongs to an organization that doesn’t admit women. Oh — also, he killed a girl.

I’m fairly certain I’ve mentioned that before — I don’t recall, Mr. Chairman — but I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t mention it every time Senator Drunkennedy has the audacity to talk about how “troubled” he is about this or that nominee. I bet Mary Jo was “troubled” about the senator leaving her in trapped in a car under water while he went back to the hotel to create an alibi.

It’s not as if Democrats can say: OK, OK! The man paid a price! Let it go! He didn’t pay a price. The Kopechne family paid a price. Kennedy weaved away scot-free.

But the Democrats are “troubled” about Sam Alito’s membership in Concerned Alumni of Princeton 30 years ago. Wait until they hear about Bob Byrd! (Former Kleagle, Ku Klux Klan.)

They’re a rotten bunch, these Democrats, and I’m happy to see an end to their reign of terror.

Now that Zell Miller is out of office, the only office-holding Democrat I like anymore is Ray Nagin, mayor of New Orleans. I had never heard of him until Hurricane Katrina, but after his “gaffe” this week, he’s my favorite Democrat. I like a politician who casually spouts off insanely politically incorrect remarks in front of TV cameras.

Nagin cheerfully told a crowd gathered for a Martin Luther King Day celebration that New Orleans would soon be “Chocolate City” again. I don’t know who’s supposed to be offended by that. I’m not. Perhaps all the white mayors who know they couldn’t have said it. Life’s unfair. Oh well.

When it comes to choice-of-word crimes, I’d prefer detente to mutually assured destruction. Lead us off the chocolate plantation, Mayor Nagin!

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